Tama's Musings

Dare to be inconsistent, lopsided, and totally courageous…

I was talking to one of my coaching clients and she was talking about not being able to stay with a meditation practice, so she gave up meditating altogether. "I’m either gung ho all the way or I don’t show up at all," she said in disgust. We were talking on an evening when she "hadn’t shown up at all." She had washed dishes instead. You would have thought she had mutilated small children. And gauging the self-attack that followed, I don’t think that meditation would have helped. The Dalai Lama, himself would have had to have shown up and told her it was no big deal. And I bet he would have given her one of those big goofy, freedom-filled smiles.

I understand the desire to make changes in your life and I applaud them heartily. But I invite you to be inconsistent and unreliable. I dare you to break promises to yourself and I dare you to make new ones. This is the courageous path of learning to grow, love and trust yourself...and to keep dancing into the life you desire, no matter what.

To me, there’s beauty, intelligence and grace in showing up lopsided, showing up fitfully, showing up sporadically. Showing up is showing up. The dream-basher in you pushes you into airtight commitments. But real change is about breathing, coming in and going out. Daring to live your calling is a path of invitation, not interrogation.

My favorite poet Rumi, an absurdly free and brilliant spirit, writes:

"Come, come whoever you are, wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving
—it doesn’t matter,
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times
Come, come again."

A Course in Miracles echoes this same philosophy by telling us to "choose once again," whenever we have made a choice that has felt painful. It doesn’t say beat yourself up bloody, give up, throw in the towel, recount how many other things you’ve given up on. It asks us to save time and just begin again, choose the new behavior or belief now, let go of the past, and give birth to a different experience this very minute.

When I first began writing, I had an awful time with myself. I’d come up with all kinds of perfectly devised writing schedules for myself and then avoid or blow every one of them. I’d be furious with myself, convinced I was never going to be able to accomplish anything. I’d feel miserable and pathetic. But finally I did make huge progress as a writer. Not by setting up a better writing program. But through learning to love, comfort, and coax myself into action. In This Time I Dance!, I wrote that "Only the tender can breed the fierce." This was so opposite to my initial thinking. Like my non-meditating client, I thought that if I had "misbehaved," I needed a bigger stick, not an extra chocolate bar. But my guidance then, as now, reflected, "Be even kinder to yourself when you feel fear. Love, not anger, inspires right action." And it was true. Part of me avoided writing because I was afraid to face myself. And only gentleness inspired more encounters.

Sometimes, we have an ill-advised idea of what showing up looks like. In the creative life, many people confuse rigidity with purity. But remember the creative personality might have many loves and devotions. And this is not distraction or avoidance. This is self-expression. When I lived in the mountains and was writing my book, I came into the city all the time to teach classes and to hang out at coffeehouses and secretly relish urban noise and stimulus. One person in a writing group said "If you were serious about that book, you’d just stay in the mountains and write." I anguished over this comment for a long time.

But his puritan approach would have sucked the life out of me. I needed to make a living in the city and I enjoyed my urban escapades. I wanted both lives. Likewise, I have clients who are parents---who are not only going to sculpt or work on a sales brochure for their business. Another part of their lives is going to soccer practice and picking up Cheerios and bananas. They are not abandoning their passions. They are claiming more of them.

Focus on the behaviors you wish to encourage, not the other choices. If you are trying to lose weight, don’t agitate over your failure of will on the third day of your program. Celebrate the 2 days of enthusiasm and motivation. Only the wins count—if you want to win. In 12 step lingo, "It’s all about progress, not perfection."

I know the sticklers will tell you that taking one exercise class won’t help or spending one hour with your camera, but I disagree. Every act of love for yourself-- makes a difference. That one time can boost your self-esteem and increase the likelihood that you’ll return. Go ahead, stumble into grace. Start and stop a million times. Get there late and leave early. Whatever it takes. So what, if in a linear world they call you erratic? In this world you are a daring hopscotch queen, a creative explorer, a traveler on a caravan of joy, and that works just fine, because you’re moving in the right direction.

Yours in the dance,

Tama

©Copyright 2004 Tama J. Kieves

Paul

PLEASE NOTE: It's not too late to join the September E-Course. You can signup for the November E-Course on our web site and then send an email to info@AwakeningArtistry.com specifying that you actually want to join the current class.


SEPTEMBER 2004

September 18, Boulder CO
This Time I Dance: Unleashing Your Creative Calling
Free talk/workshop at Naropa University's Sampler Day
1:15pm - 2:00pm

Tama will be a participant in Naropa's Sampler Day, a semiannual event that offers a free taste of Naropa's personal enrichment classes. Here's your chance to get a taste -- for FREE -- of the wide variety of personal enrichment classes that Naropa is offering this Fall. Sign up for Tama's October workshop at this event and receive a 20% discount! More information can be found on Naropa's Web Site.

September 19, Aspen CO
Unleashing the Fire of Your Inner Writer
presented by the Aspen Writers' Foundation

Do you always say you want to write, but then avoid it? Do you wish your writing had more punch or juice? Join Tama for this exciting one-day creative writing workshop designed to silence your inner critics, exhilarate your mind, and realize the joy and effortlessness of your most powerful writing. In a safe and synergistic environment, Tama will lead exercises designed to free the natural writer within you while exploring how to stay focused and passionate about the craft.

The Aspen Writers' Foundation, presenter of the Aspen Summer Words Writing Retreat & Literary Festival, announces Fall Words, a morning creative writing workshop and an evening reading and discussion. The workshop will take place from 9am to 1pm on September 19th. Tuition is $100 and includes a ticket to her evening discussion. Single tickets ($15) may also be purchased for the evening reading by calling 970.925.3122. Contact Aspen Writers' Foundation for more information.

September 22, Vancouver BC
Trusting the Journey of Creating the Work You Love
Sponsored by Women Empowering Women
7:00pm - 9:30pm

In this evening Women Empowering Women workshop, learn how to turn inspiration into reality and how to "trust the journey" of walking past fears into your true and vivid life. How do you choose the right passion and stay motivated? What do you do when "realism" sets in, your family asks those tough questions, or you feel cloudy or overwhelmed by the unknown or the immensity of what you dream of doing? For more information or to register, contact Rita Laursen at 778-371-9884 or via email at rita@womenempoweringwomen.bizor
Download more information (PDF)

September 25, Vancouver BC
Wisdom of the Heart: A Transformation Day Retreat for Women
Sponsored by Women Empowering Women
9:00am - 4:00pm

Are you in transition? Are you ready to listen to your own heart? Join a gathering of wondrous women who are passionately committing to themselves to create a safe space where fears, ponderings, and life-long dreams rise to light, ignited by the group's commitment to self-honesty, support, creative brainstorming and unleashing true inspiration and direction. For more information or to register, contact Rita Laursen at 778-371-9884 or via email at rita@womenempoweringwomen.biz or
Download more information (PDF)

September 27, Seattle WA
Trusting the Journey of Creating the Work You Love
6:00pm - 9:00pm at Discover U in Seattle. $39.00. Register through Discover U.

September 28, Seattle WA
Fun Ink: Unleashing the Fire of Your Inner Writer
6:00pm - 9:00pm at Discover U in Seattle. $39.00. Register through Discover U.

OCTOBER 2004

October 2, Denver CO
Fun Ink! A Playful Creative Writing Retreat Day
10:00am - 3:00pm

You always say you want to WRITE ... let's set aside our internal critics, excuses, distractions, and laments, and devote a whole and glorious day to creative writing. In a safe and synergistic environment, we will practice exercises designed to unleash the spontaneity, clarity, and perfection of natural self-expression. Surrounded by writers, artists, journallers, and anyone interested in connecting with themselves, you can count on gentle support and rich and contagious inspiration. This all day writing intensive promises to exhilarate your mind, tire your hand, and reclaim your imagination, wisdom, and indispensable voice.
Download more information (PDF)
Register now on-line

October 4 - December 13, Denver CO
A Course in Miracles
An Experiential Workshop of Choosing Love Instead of Fear. Ten Monday nights.

Choose to live in love instead of fear! Join us as we learn to let go of old ways of thinking and choose freedom, peace, and self-love instead. A Course in Miracles is an internationally popular spiritual psychotherapy program that has inspired millions of individuals to experience their own amazing inner guidance and life's purpose.
Download more information (PDF)
Register now on-line

October 6 - December 15, Denver CO
A Course in Miracles
An Experiential Workshop of Choosing Love Instead of Fear. Ten Wednesday nights.

Choose to live in love instead of fear! Join us as we learn to let go of old ways of thinking and choose freedom, peace, and self-love instead. A Course in Miracles is an internationally popular spiritual psychotherapy program that has inspired millions of individuals to experience their own amazing inner guidance and life's purpose.
Download more information (PDF)
Register now on-line

October 7, Everywhere!!
WORK WITH TAMA -- LIVE!!
Trusting the Journey of Creating the Work You Love
-- A weekly mastermind group of creative visionaries --
(we meet by phone from all over the country)
6:00 - 7:00pm Mountain time

Come join us for a creative, hands-on weekly foray into claiming the work of our soul, paying the bills, and trusting the journey of developing right livelihood. 5 weeks of focus and assignments. 5 weeks of synergy. 5 weeks of laser attention and direction with a national career coach and best-selling author who is wildly passionate about her work ... and yours. Come experience the momentum of working together with an intimate group of powerful, courageous souls who are devoted to living their highest purpose and true lives ... now. This group is limited in size to a maximum of 20 participants ... and you will be assigned a support partner from the group.
Download more information (PDF)
Register now on-line

October 8, Boulder CO
This Time I Dance! Unleashing Your Creative Calling
Workshop through Naropa University in Boulder
7:00pm - 9:00pm

Friday evening workshop at Naropa University. $15.00. For more information, call 303-245-4800 or visit http://www.naropa.edu/extend

October 8-10, Boulder CO
This Time I Dance! Unleashing Your Creative Calling
Weekend retreat through Naropa University in Boulder
7:00pm - 9:00pm

Wild things happen when you're committed to your wildest dreams! Have you always known you had a calling but you didn't know how to uncover it and believe in it enough to craft it into a livelihood and life? You may see your creative dreams as frivolous, but instead they could be the source of amazing strength and explosive direction. In this workshop, learn from Tama how to turn inspiration into reality. Walk past conditioning and fears into your true and vivid life. How do you stay motivated? What happens when you feel overwhelmed or tentative answering questions about your unconventional choices? Come spend a fun and focused weekend learning how to set free the genius within and bring your gifts into the world - where they belong. Using a variety of exercises, you'll discover your true clarity and next step--and learn how to stay true to a path with no lines and no limits.

Full retreat price, which includes Friday night workshop above, is $190.00, For more information or to register, call 303-245-4800 or visit http://www.naropa.edu/extend

October 19, Denver CO
Finding Your Creative Edge: Working from the Power of Inspiration
Workshop at "High Road to Success - Leading with Integrity" Women's Success Forum sponsored by the Women's Vision Foundation
Adam's Mark Hotel, Denver, Colorado
7:00am - 5:00pm

Tama will be conducting a breakout session at the annual Women's Success Forum: "Finding Your Creative Edge: Working from the Power of Inspiration". Every day you choose to work from vision or from fear. In the name of "practicality," are you inhibiting creativity and true contribution? It's never been less safe to play it safe. Learn to free your greatest source of power, genius and ease - and do the work you came to do.

For more information on the Women's Success Forum, contact the Women's Vision Foundation at 303.470.7576 or visit the Women's Success Forum Website: http://www.womenssuccessforum.com/default.asp or register online at http://www.womenssuccessforum.com/registration.asp.

NOVEMBER 2004

November 2, Everywhere!!
E-COURSE: Creating The Work You Love
Twelve-Week Home Study Course Begins
Do you ever feel like you're too busy to focus on what you really want to do with your life? Or do you have a hard time staying confident and motivated? Dedicate an hour a week to creating your dreams, work with a specially designed motivational mini-lesson and complete your fun and power-packed assignment.
Download more information (PDF)
Register now on-line